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mixed-review weekend

blah.

family was here four days ... a ton of estrogen-charged women, including me.

too sensitive;

past history not sound overall;

all working on emotional level, instead of intellectual level;

we tried;

many times we failed;

egos scorched erupting volcanic poison everywhere;

average major clash: one per day;

i'm just the half-sister who's been given the responsibility to take care of Mom; she told me for years i would be the one to take care of all of her affairs; eldest sister even admitted in the beginning that Mom never once showed her how to deal with Mom's finances, never showed her the books, never took her to the bank;

Mom did all that routine with me and many occasions;

i'm the youngest;

i'm the one most on the outside of the "family" group; the half-sister from the second marriage ... which has brought us into this fucking nightmare;

i wish we could be loving and understanding and compassionate and empathetic and open with each other;

can't we be a team? can't we work together and enjoy each other? other families do it; and other families continue to do it even if they aren't completely enamoured with each other;

doesn't seem a possibility anymore;

i'm just the attorney-in-fact with emotional and biological ties to Mom; the attorney-in-fact enemy with whom my half-sibs would prefer not deal;

that's how it always goes: the one given the responsibility is the one everyone resents or finds at fault;

everything was a trillion times nicer when we were just a family; and i was the kid sister.

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December 2011
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