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update on my mom

My mom's health has been slowly ... painfully slowly ... declining for several years now, as some of you know.

You may not know that she was in hospice for the first three months of this year, and was "kicked out," b/c her health was stabilized. A month and a half later ... this past Friday ... her medical team decided she needed to be in hospice again. So now she's in out-patient hospice. No more musical rooms. It's too much.

Some of her changes seem subtle on the surface, but I can definitely see that her energy is decreased. She doesn't talk much, which has been difficult. And she doesn't complain about pain and/or discomfort. So it's hard to know how she's doing unless she's examined.

Today, I asked her if she felt any pain or discomfort and she said, "Yes." Then I asked her to show me where she was feeling badly. She was able to do that ... even with her dementia, which doesn't help her communication. I'm learning to ask the right questions.

Asking her, "Where do you hurt?" she can't remember. Asking to show where it hurts gets right to the point.

Interesting how the mind works.

I'm really having a difficult time seeing her like this ... I wish I could make it go away. I wish she wasn't suffering in such a slow process.

Peace to all of you here at LJ.

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Comments

( 7 comments — Leave a comment )
mollywog
May. 31st, 2006 12:03 pm (UTC)
*hugs* I'm praying for you to have the strength you need to handle all this.
lost_tumbleweed
Jun. 1st, 2006 05:58 am (UTC)
Thank you, Molly.

With all the drama that's gone on in the past three years, I know I will have strength to get through my mother's dying. It is very difficult to watch her go through this slow, agonizing process. I don't want to lose her, but I don't want her to suffer. That's the way of life, isn't it?

My mom is one tough cookie.
Just when we think she's nearing the end, she decides to start eating again, and gains weight and makes a tremendous turnaround.

Not sure that will happen this time.
girl_next_dork
May. 31st, 2006 12:43 pm (UTC)
Peace to you, too.

Take care.
lost_tumbleweed
Jun. 1st, 2006 06:02 am (UTC)
Thank you, Candy.

You're such a sweetie and a good person. And you are a gifted woman.

This has been three incredible years. We don't know how much longer my mother will live. She is an enigma, changing directions for the better ... then something like this slowly takes a little bit of her at a time you don't always notice it's gone.
(Deleted comment)
lost_tumbleweed
Jun. 1st, 2006 06:03 am (UTC)
no need for words, maura.

my mom and i spend loads of silent time together. i'll cuddle up with her and hold her hand or stroke her forehead. she enjoys that.

thank you for your hugs!
sckot
May. 31st, 2006 11:09 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry you both are going through this. At least, since it has not been sudden, you have a chance to do what you can. Even though communication is difficult. Still, I know it is very painful to watch her health slowly decline, and you have my deepest sympathy.
lost_tumbleweed
Jun. 1st, 2006 06:05 am (UTC)
sckot, you summed up this experience about as well as it can be.

you know what it's like. i hope you're doing well these days.

thanks for your poignant thoughts.
( 7 comments — Leave a comment )

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