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speaking of weight gain ...

... my lovie referred to me as Rubinesque the other day.

it was wonderful to hear him say that to someone.

in the past, i have asked him for his brutally honest opinion,
which i've had to pull out with the strength of 100 elephants.
he has admitted i am fat, and he would love it if i would lose weight.

so many different ways of viewing one reality.


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(Deleted comment)
Apr. 2nd, 2006 02:48 am (UTC)
so many questions ...

since i've never been this heavy before, i'm not comfortable with it. i look in the mirror, especially when my sister was sizing me for bras several days ago, i saw how heavy i am.

honestly, even when i was closer to the ideal weight, i wasn't comfortable with my body. there was roughly a decade or just shy of 10 years, where i was comfortable with my body ...
just up until i started realizing in the past two years that i couldn't fit into what i used to wear.

mr. f loves me for who i am. he shows it in so many ways. he is very supportive and loving. he probably realizes that my weight and my health are moveable ... fluid ... he encourages me to exercise more for mood i believe, because he knows it helps him. he stuggles with depressive episodes, too.
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