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Three months later

Thanks to Mr. F, who was studying at a coffeehouse in our neighborhood this evening, I found out horrific news.

Someone I care about very much committed suicide at the end of October.

Shit.

She is someone I've always felt happy to be with and enjoyed thoroughly. So bright, talented and energetic and too sensitive for this world.

I haven't seen her in some time, but about a year ago, she was calling me regularly asking about this guy she was really digging and wanted to date. I wasn't keen on the match for her. He is so different from us. Plus, he's extremely uptight. Unlike, Lilly. I wish I had had more energy to be there for her. I have been so down and reclusive.

Oh, Lilly. How I miss you. I knew you attempted to cross this barrier before and thankfully you didn't succeed on those occasions. I feel most fortunate to have known you and to have had intimate time with you. Just you and me and our great conversations and laughs. You always lifted me up. Even when I visited you in the hospital during one of your episodes. You were above them all. They didn't know how to help you.

You touched so many people's lives here and whereever you traversed. Plus, your beauty and lanky figure and delicious style brought others to you.

I love you, Sister. Thank you for every kindness you ever said, gave, shared.

Nancy

Comments

( 6 comments — Leave a comment )
mollywog
Jan. 19th, 2008 04:43 am (UTC)
*hugs* I had a good friend that chose to end his life a few years ago. I still go to the cemetery either near his birthday or near his deathday and sit and converse for a while. It makes me feel a little bit better, a little bit like he's still around in a way.
lost_tumbleweed
Jan. 19th, 2008 05:58 am (UTC)
Thanks, Molly.

Lilly's house is just around the corner, so I can drive or walk by. That will be comforting. It will be some time before the house is transferred to others. It was a cooperative with many owners decades gone.

Don't know what Lilly would want for the house, but I love the idea of keeping it a community house ... even one amongst those who knew her.
jambosana
Jan. 19th, 2008 01:51 pm (UTC)
/me huggs tight
i hope your alright
lost_tumbleweed
Jan. 19th, 2008 07:37 pm (UTC)
Thanks, K. Huggs backatcha.

Edited at 2008-01-19 07:38 pm (UTC)
girl_next_dork
Jan. 19th, 2008 04:33 pm (UTC)
*Hug* I'm so sorry, Nance.
lost_tumbleweed
Jan. 19th, 2008 07:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks, Candy.
Surprisingly, I'm doing all right with it. I believe I'm still in shock/disbelief.

What's difficult is that I didn't find out right away. That's how removed I am from my own community. Some of our friends have left the area and others assumed I would find out through others.

Life is so weird.

:: hugs :: to you, too, Little Sis. :)

Edited at 2008-01-19 07:41 pm (UTC)
( 6 comments — Leave a comment )

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