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Walking home from bus stop

Tonight when walking home from the bus stop, I was afraid. Not terrified, but afraid.

This isn't something that usually plagues me. Usually I walk with determination and common sense taking the most activity-filled streets. That's been enough to abate any fears.

What might be going on is that I've encountered a lot of beggars while walking the streets of Albuquerque. It didn't have an affect on me upon first arriving here, but am guessing the accumulated encounters are putting me on edge.

Can only recall one semi-dangerous encounter in Grand Rapids, when I was attacked by pre-pubescent teens in broad daylight Spring 1993. Even though we all lived in the same neighborhood, it was racially motivated. These six children called me a "white bitch" and told me to get out of their neighborhood. I had lived there for two and a half years at that point. A few months later bought my house several blocks away in the same neighborhood. Lived there for 15 years when we sold the house to move to the Southwest. There's much more to this attack story, which I believe I posted here years ago.

After that encounter, I was terrified, but with time and continued walking, the fear subsided. The incidents of 9/11 almost erased all fears, my gut feeling being that any of us could die at anytime in any situation, and there is nothing we can do about it.

So here's to continued walking in ABQ and lessening fears.

Posted via LiveJournal.app.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 15th, 2009 07:03 pm (UTC)
Ah, new town anxiety. Way to go on facing your fears; I still can't grasp how terrifying the world must have become after you were assaulted. Honestly, I think I actually shut that out of my mind.

I've found that I feel rather confident in Portland, especially with panhandlers, because I am educated about the street scene and available resources. But when I'm in another town, I suddenly become one of those people that passes panhandlers without even acknowledging them. And normally I loathe that interaction. When I move I'll have to become familiar with a whole new system, and I will definitely toast you.

To continued walking. *clink*
Dec. 16th, 2009 10:29 am (UTC)
Thanks for the encouragement, ms. c. :)

Early on in GR, I volunteered at various homeless programs. That definitely helped because one interacted with them and understood their humanity. Doing the same here may help.
Dec. 25th, 2009 09:15 am (UTC)
good for you
Dec. 25th, 2009 09:14 am (UTC)
dont worry
dontworry i was in a new town to first day of a new school i was scared that idid not hav friends
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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